The Next Step

Ok. It is done. I have survived.

I have drunk the premixed can of vodka-diet-coke my youngest gifted me. I think everything is going to be ok.

What am I waffling about?

I hosted my first-ever Circle Networks group. I’m now running something called Next Step Circle online every other Monday. You'll never guess what its theme is. The premise is simple: we're great at talking about the big dream. We're clear on that. We're excited by that. The small steps that get us there? Not so much. Even though they're the ones we're working on right now. They're not glamorous or exciting. They might not even be clear. But they are the ones that we could get help with right now if we'd just say. So come say.

What happened?

My end? Low bandwidth. Necessitating me having to throw 2 adult children off the internet with minutes to spare and still having black screen of doom until the first breakout room.

That's right. I was literally speaking into the void. At least it was poetic.

Once I got that out the way, it went alright. No disasters. Was I as free-flowing as I could have been? No, but I’ll get the hang of delivering the script my way. Was I chill about it? Hell no. I'm watching the top of my screen like a hawk for the "low bandwidth" threat notice and freaking out every time there's a lag in speaker change, on top of first-night fright.

But I've a solution for the connection issue. That was a pretty extreme first outing. If I can field that, then I'll be ok. It'll get easier with practice. I'll get nice and chill about it, and it'll turn into a stupendously good group.

I know most of this as fact. The last part? Contingent. Bet I can do it, though.

Fucks sake, when I first started networking, it was a case of clear the calendar. Anxiety says you’re going to need the day. 

Now somehow I’m hosting.

It’s not doing my impostor syndrome any good, but it is quite a nice little level up.

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Becky's Impostor Syndrome